


Stained

by NeoDiji



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Humor, In front of everyone, Kinda, M/M, Sexual Humor, Thanks Suzaku, Zero Pitches a Tent, and more - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:00:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28697337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeoDiji/pseuds/NeoDiji
Summary: Lelouch, as Zero, has some unfortunate bodily reactions to Suzaku in front of the completely wrong audience.
Relationships: Kururugi Suzaku/Lelouch Lamperouge | Lelouch vi Britannia
Comments: 25
Kudos: 31





	Stained

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I definitely do not own Code Geass.
> 
> We all knew my 50th story on this site had to be pure crack-humor, right? Right?

Zero spread his arms wide, symbolically embracing the entire Special Zone team: There was his loyal inner circle of Black Knights to his right, and Euphy and her trusted advisors to his left. The only person unaccounted for was—

“Did I miss anything?” Suzaku asked, trying not to look like he was rushing as he dashed into the room.

Lelouch’s breath caught, and he hoped it wasn’t loud enough to alert anyone. Suzaku looked absolutely delicious in his standard knight uniform as it hugged his lithe frame. Lelouch wanted to rip it off him, jangles be damned, and map that toned body beneath it with his lips…

Kallen gestured to Zero atop his makeshift stage at the front of the room.

Zero nodded and repeated his grand welcoming speech, again spreading his arms wide so his cape fluttered behind him, trying to ignore the increasingly X-rated fantasies he couldn’t help but entertain in the back of his mind—

 _Greetings!_ shouted Zero’s erection, springing suddenly to life and bobbing towards Suzaku. It strained against Zero’s tight bodysuit, pitching a tent of epic proportions. _Notice me in all my glory!_

Lelouch _died_ inside and hunched over on autopilot, going starkly silent mid-word, wrapping his cape around himself, but it was too late. The Black Knights, Suzaku, Euphy and her official team—everyone was staring at him, stunned, flabbergasted.

Ohgi choked.

Tamaki snorted.

Zero took a hasty step backwards and almost fell off his makeshift stage. The tip of his erection poked through the opening in his cape, as if waving from behind a curtain. _I’m still here!_ it seemed to say, loudly.

Clearing his throat, Zero swirled around. And remained silent.

“It’s not that bad,” Suzaku said after a moment, sounding like he was forcing himself to speak. “It, uh, happens to the best of us.”

Zero looked over his shoulder.

General Darlton shot Suzaku a look of pure disbelief.

“Yeah,” Suzaku said, nodding and finding some hidden confidence. “One time it happened to me in front of my boyfriend. Talk about awkward.”

Kallen shuddered. “Please don’t make me think about you and Lelouch.”

“But it turned out okay!” Suzaku rambled. “He was very understanding.”

“I bet,” Tamaki said with another suggestive snort.

Suzaku frowned. “No, no, it wasn’t like that. We talked and—came to an understanding. It’s just a bodily function. Sometimes it’s out of our control.”

“When you’re a teenager, maybe,” General Darlton conceded with an eye-roll.

“When you’re a _man_ ,” Zero corrected, his voice as stiff as his cock. Which was very.

Everyone stared at him again.

Euphy tilted her head. “Maybe you should take some time for yourself.”

Ohgi buried his reddening face in his hands. Tohdoh closed his eyes and sighed deeply through his nose. Rakshata smoked her pipe. Diethard’s pants looked a little tight.

Zero turned to face the crowd again, and immediately his still sky-high erection bounced into everyone’s line of sight. _Can you believe how much attention I’m getting?!_ it seemed to scream, proudly perking up as if thriving in the spotlight—especially as Lelouch’s gaze landed on Suzaku. Again. “I believe I may just do—”

Suzaku stretched, his shirt riding slightly up and exposing a thin sliver of beautifully sun-kissed stomach.

 _BURST! BYE!_ exploded Zero’s erection, wilting only after unleashing a squelching storm of come inside Zero’s tight, skin-plastered, now-sticky bodysuit. The stain spread, farther and farther, as the come kept gushing—and maybe it only felt like time stood still because everyone was gawking at him again, and not in the good way?

Zero fell dramatically to his knees and again wrapped himself in his cape, but it was no good.

Diethard had caught the whole escapade on film, including on just where Zero’s attention had been before he’d burst with euphoria. “So, Kururugi…?”

“Yes?” Suzaku asked, turning to Diethard questioningly.

Diethard glanced between Zero and Suzaku. “I meant…”

“ _Yes_ ,” Zero snapped through gritted teeth, shaking on the floor. He’d used his Geass on some people in the room, but not others. If there was a way to do damage control… But even if he could, what if the same episode happened again? It wasn’t safe for his hormones for him to be working in close proximity to the person of his desires. And would Geass even make everyone forget, when the whole scandalous incident was most likely burned not only into their retinas, but the core of their very _brains_?

Euphy clapped her hands. “I think you two are super cute!” she said, glancing between Zero and Suzaku with the fondest expression on her face.

General Darlton groaned.

Kallen sported a confused look. “But Suzaku has a boyfriend already.”

“Yeah,” Suzaku agreed with a half-shrug, “but I always suspected that maybe Lelouch was Zer-oohhhh…”

Zero hung his head.

His dead erection twitched in its soaked confines as Suzaku outed him to the crowd.

Kallen looked more disgusted than she had at the sight of Zero’s erection in the first place.

General Darlton stared at Suzaku with an even-higher level of disbelief. “You _suspected_ …?!”

“Oh, don’t punish him,” Euphy rushed to say, casting Lelouch and Suzaku pitiful looks. “I knew from almost the beginning.”

“Princess Euphemia!” General Darlton exclaimed, as the Black Knights let out similar expressions of incredulity.

In the midst of their overreactions, Zero stood up, draped purposefully in his cape—which clung to him rather oddly near his nether regions and stomach. “I’m going to freshen up.”

“Take Suzaku with you,” Euphy suggested brightly, and Zero almost, _almost_ flicked his middle finger at her—but couldn’t because it was _Euphy_ and surely she was too innocent to be making inappropriate quips about his predicament?

Without another word, Zero walked stiff-legged to his personal quarters. Miraculously, no one followed.

C.C. took one look at him from the couch and burst out laughing, almost choking on melted cheese in her glee.

“Don’t even start,” Lelouch warned, taking off his mask.

“I didn’t need to,” C.C. shot back, brandishing her stupid Pizza Hut plushie at him. “You finished.”

Lelouch frowned at her. Surely his entire legacy as Zero wouldn’t be tied to this one humiliating instance. “You mean ‘you’re’ finished, and no I’m no—”

“I know what I said,” C.C. interrupted, a gleam in her golden eyes. “I always knew this day would come.”

Lelouch’s frown intensified into a burning glare, almost as hot as his earlier release had been. “You knew I’d come in my Zero costume in front of everyone because my boyfriend is too enticing to be around?”

“I knew you’d embarrass yourself in some way because of Suzaku,” C.C. conceded with a pronounced dip of her head, “but even I never thought it would be quite this rich.”

This time, Lelouch didn’t hold back as he flicked her the finger.

**Author's Note:**

> Zero: *standing proudly on international television as he establishes the UFN* 
> 
> Whole World: *staring at him*
> 
> Zero: *looks down at himself* Not this shit again. Damn you, Suzaku!!!


End file.
